Tyra Banks


Oh… Janice.  We love Janice Dickinson … but sometimes, she sticks in her foot in her every growing plastic mouth.  For example, this clip from the Today Show where she “jokingly” calls Ms. Tyra fat for this swimsuit picture.

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Now she says it’s a joke.  What do you think?

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Can’t say I’m too suprised by the outcome of ANTM this week.  The last few weeks have each been pretty predictable.  I figured it would be either Bianca and Jenah… and hoped it would actually be Jenah.  The more we see of her personality, the more unattractive she seems to become. 

Did you guys see when Jenah was talking about Heather leaving last week, and she does her uppity little laugh and says Heather had trouble communicating?  Of course Heather had trouble, but you know what Jenah… SO DID YOU.  With all the mirrors in that model house you’d think she’d get to look in one at her own behavior.

And yeah… Bianca telling Jenah to go to the mall that apparently didn’t exist was lousy, but wasn’t Jenah laughing at Heather last week during Go Sees just as bad?  Didn’t she yap loudly in the background while Heather tried to model?  Didn’t Nigel have to tell her to shut the heck up?  How big is Jenah’s ego if she can’t see any of this?  And what’s with this sudden talk of “I just want to know who I am…..”

Bleck.

Next week is the finals and I have to say it’s GOTTA be down to Chantal and Saliesha.  I can’t imagine Jenah going any further, although now that she’s shown her “emotions” (meaning Tyra got her to cry) she might have a better chance.  For some reason they seem to like a girl much better once she starts bawling. 

This episode Twiggy really bugged me as well.  Her lack of adjectives is astounding.  EVERY SINGLE PICTURE is either “lovely” or “quite good” or “I see a model” no matter what they look like.  For example, I thought Jenah’s picture was AWFUL:

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What the heck is with her stupid leg?  And yet Twiggy says, “Your leg just goes on and on.  And your face is amazing.” 

Uh… Twigster?  That leg?  It looks like it doesn’t belong to the rest of her.  And the face?  NOT amazing. 

Ann Shoket said it looks like Jenah got lost in the costume.  I have to say I agree.

The judges said Bianca’s profile pose looked stiff and like she was mad:

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Now here’s the thing:  Bianca USUALLY photographs like she’s pissed off.  I actually think this will be her “thang” and get her lots of modeling jobs in the future.  And many times the mad look just doesn’t work.  But in this shot?  Where she’s supposed to a WARRIOR?  It works just fine. 

When she’s supposed to be rock climbing:

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Not so much.  I actually think one of Bianca’s prettiest shots was in the recycling photo shoot:

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Here she is surrounded by OIL and she manages to look soft and welcoming.  Hmm.

Anyways, I think Bianca will end up just fine.  She’s got a certain look and it can really work for her.  She should keep that short hair!  I know she bawled when it came time to let go off the weave but the short style really shows off her face.

And while Chantal’s shot was nice:

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I think Saliesha’s was FAR BETTER:

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You can’t keep your eyes off of her in this one.  If she doesn’t win… there’s got to be a problem.

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Like I said last week, ANTM is getting a bit predictable.  After all, who was surprised to see Lisa go home?  She’s had a couple poor showings and then that over-thinking thing was just too much.  When I saw her start to cry this week, I knew she was a goner. 

I also thought Tyra’s advice to her was AWFUL.  I mean, “If you feel as if you’re going to cry, just cry.”  What the heck kind of advice is that?  How about, “If you think you’re going to cry, get out of your head and act professional.” 

THAT’s better advice… courtesy of moi.  Thank you very much.

I also wasn’t surprised to see Heather in the bottom two.  For the last couple weeks they’ve really started to show her melting down more and flubbing up.  She’s having a hard time speaking, and if she continues you know she ain’t gonna be AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL. 

But she’ll be okay.  She takes a darn good picture.  This week I was very surprised at the one she took:

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And once again…. I’m back to liking Chantal.  Apparently I won’t be able to make up my mind about her until the end.  Some weeks she comes off super arrogant, and this week she came off okay.  I do like that she seems to stick up for people and also that she doesn’t take any shit.  It was awesome how she got Bianca and Jenah to share a bed so that Heather could have one.  Heather needs to just suck it up and not act like a ten year old, but at the same time the girls are so obnoxious with her. 

Chantal did well this week.  But it was a Cover Girl shoot, which means you have to be super cute.  Chantal can do CUTE… almost to the point of puking.  I’ve liked her shots better the last two weeks, and didn’t as much this week:

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I think Miss J hit the nail on the head when he said, “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm.”  Compare this to last week with the whole “I’m ethereal” outfit and then stomping ahead like she was pissed. 

And WHAT the heck was the deal with Bianca and her “trust issue.”  Come on… seriously…. BIANCA was afraid of heights.  I predict Bianca will be voted off soon, but for now… she makes good TV. 

I also loved that Nigel said Jenah “lacked charm.”  I think she does, too!  She looks like she just crawled out of bed and rammed a cigarette in her mouth.  This “I’m a tough rocker chick” attitude is so yesterday…. and it doesn’t suit her.  She looked completely out of place in the Cover Girl commercial, and even though the judges seemed to like her picture, how would they realistically be able to use it as a print ad:

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They wouldn’t.  Nigel also said she wasn’t showing “any beauty from within.”  WOW!  He meant business this week.  Anyways, next week should be fun because it’s the go’sees episode…. can’t wait.

So have you noticed Tyra is sporting some serious BANGS these days.  I actually like her with bangs, but this hairstylist says hers are a bit heavy.  He also said women are copying Kate Moss for this look. 

Kate Moss? 

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Uh… don’t think so.

Check out this article on mentors, in which our own Tyra Banks is mentioned.

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Well, looks like the Bostonian was right, and poor healthy normal lovely Sarah was the one that went home.

There are a few things that piss me off about this episode.  First, that they have made such a huge deal about Sarah losing weight, and then… that they have a model pass out because (DAH) she hadn’t eaten anything in like 20 hours.  I’ll have more to say on that later.  For now, let’s do a recap, shall we?

If I said previously that I was developing a new respect for Chantal, I completely apologize.  Last night she was back to my bleck meter after telling the world that God gave her “this body and this face” so therefore she was born to model.  Love yo-self much?  Now here’s the thing… a healthy body image is important.  Healthy.  As in, love your body and appreciate all that God gave you, but don’t let your head inflate to the point that it won’t fit through the door.  (Or, in an Enrique Iglesias video.) 

As much as Chantal tells the world how she was “born” to model, she’s had quite a few off weeks.  (Remember the flower episode, folks?)  This week she looked bored to tears at having to watch Enrique Iglesias strut around in front of her.  Perhaps Chantal actually thought she was prettier than Enrique?  Could this be?  If so, I should do the proper thing and correct Chantal right now: 

Chantal,

No one is prettier than Enrique.  Not you.  Not Tyra.  Not even Tyson Beckford. 

As per usual, most of the girls looked positively stiff and odd throughout the video.  Heather, surprisingly, really pulled off the weird & intense vampire look.  But this thing about her not eating for a zillion hours… For some reason, I gave her more credit than that.  I was starting to buy into the whole “I have Asberger’s but want to be a role model for girls”….

…and so to do that you don’t eat, Heather?  And then make everyone drop everything and run to your side and after administering water and minerals to your little body have to tell you, “Now with your size, you should really eat before you do something like this….”

And that wasn’t even MENTIONED in panel!  WTF?

I do like how Chantal noticed Heather getting some prime camera time then and went over to tell her “how worried” they were about her. 

Ya.  Okay.

Another odd thing was that Tyra hyped this whole “Bodyville” thing and then it was like two seconds in the episode.  She spends an entire week talking about body image and then just shows us models slithering up and down a wall? 

Which brings me to another point:  Why the heck couldn’t Lisa make it back up the wall with her leg strength?  She was a stripper, for pete’s sake.  Don’t they kind of need their… ahem… muscle strength for certain things?

I’m not bothered at all by Bianca and her jealousy of Heather.  Here’s the thing, sometimes I agree with Bianca.  I think they are over-kind to her at times (at times, mind you) like for example when she doesn’t eat and causes a video shoot to stop completely and then they don’t even say anything to her.  You know if Bianca (or let’s face it, Chantal) had pulled that stunt Tyra’d be all over their behinds.

I did laugh at Bianca trying the whole, “I weigh the most of any person in this house” routine in front of Sarah, and Sarah chiming back, “Oh, we’re going to play that game now, huh Bianca?”  Loved that.  Love Sarah!  I hope to heck she gets some modeling gigs after this.  I mean, honestly, how big is she?  (In normal people size, I mean. Like, a size 4?  A 6?  Can I get a reference here, someone?)

The whole episode was wacky right to the end.  I see most of my predictions yesterday were off.  Like I predicted Jenah would be in the bottom two.  But she was close!  She did horrible.  And was it just me, or did she look BUCK-TOOTHED in the video?

I said Ambreal would be great – I thought she was but TyTy thought she was “too hoochie.”  And Tyra knows hoochie far better than I do, so I’ll give her that. 

I said Chantal would be great -and she totally wasn’t.

I said Heather might struggle and she did with the whole crawling along the wall deal.  And btw, what is the deal with Tyra saying Heather has a “Tim Burton-esque” sexuality?

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Anyone?

I was right with Saliesha pulling it out, and I was right that Sarah would work her bod and look great.  She did.  Even the judges thought so.  But she eats (probably every day or so) and we can’t have that in the modeling world.  Not, apparently, even in Tyra’s modeling world.

I said Lisa would over-think everything but she didn’t.  I did, however, hit it right on the head with Bianca when I said “She’ll end up looking like she’s ready to rumble.”  So okay – not too bad.

I’ll be curious to see what Sarah has to say now that she’s off the show.  In any event, here’s the Enrique video (with models) if you’d like to check it out.

It’s just after 2p.m. here in the Midwest, and I don’t know about you, but I am looking forward to a new episode of ANTM.  Especially after the recap show.

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Tyra’s already been on the local channels talking about the episode, which consists of the models wearing nude body stockings and pretending that they are part of “Bodyville.”  In addition to body image it looks like Tyra is trying to teach them to be sexy.  (There’s a preview on the CW site if you’re interested.) 

After that, they go on the set for a music video with Enrique Iglesias video where apparently one girl will pass out. 

Let’s see… girls that are living together, bugging each other, not eating, and then…. gasp… one of them actually passes out?  I can’t imagine.  (She said snarkily.)  I am interested in seeing how well some of the girls do, and am even going to make some predictions:

  • Ambreal will be able to pull out of her funk since she’s got the dance background.
  • Chantal has probably been in front of her bedroom mirror pretending to be in music videos since she was ten, so I’ll bet she does okay. 
  • Heather has the awkwardness with her body so she might struggle.
  • Saleisha is a wild-card these days… but I think she’ll pull it out.  She do her model thang and be good.
  • Sarah will work her ever-shrinking bod and look great doing it.
  • Jenah’s odd little face will not work in a video format, she’ll be in the bottom two for the first time.
  • Bianca will struggle.  She’ll end up looking like she’s ready to rumble rather than dance.
  • Lisa will over-think everything and look stiff and awkward.

Still, just because a model bombs at the music video challenge doesn’t mean she’ll get booted off.  (Remember Yoanna in Cycle 2?  She went ass over teakettle right on camera but still won the cycle.)  In the end, I predict Lisa will go home.  What do you think?

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